I have a good bit of loss this week. A dear friend lost her 9 year battle with a reoccurance of cancer. She was the epitome of bravery in battling and facing the disease with class, aplomb, and faith. I hope to be like her in many ways.
Then, Dolly.
Then, Tim Curry.
Sheesh. I also have a sprained wrist from a fall a couple of weeks ago so I’m hobbled a bit with a brace on my dominant hand. It makes typing, editing audio, washing dishes and all around operating in the world a bit more difficult. Not impossible….but difficult. And, to top if off when I was x-rayed for the wrist injury, they just had to tell me that I also have arthritis in that thumb joint.
To match the arthritis I have in the other hand, I guess.
And, in my knee.
And, maybe my hip.
I found myself lying in bed wondering who would be next. What shoe would drop? What loss would I have. I can’t ride my bike or play pickleball right now. Weightlifting had been growing in my activity list but not right now and not for another month, I guess.
As I listed off my losses…what I can’t do right now, I found myself thinking about this circle. When we are younger, it is all about what we are gaining.
Our first tooth. First step. First word. First movie. (My baby book has it all. I am first born after all)
Then, your first date. First kiss. First relationship. First job. First car. And so on.
After a lifetime of career, marriage or other long-term relationships, discovering and creating your own way of being the world, you do get some more firsts. First heartbreak. First sleepness night worrying over something like money, a sick kid or pet, job woes, first nagging joint pain, first visit to the doctor that doesn’t end with “everything looks good, see you next year.” Or you start getting firsts like first pill organizer or first custom orthotics. 🙂
Its subtle. When does it shift to logging the lasts? Last day on the job (yay for retirement). Last time to climb Mount LeConte in the Great Smoky Mountains. Last overseas flight. Last time to say “I love you” to someone (you may never know that so say it often!).
I am mourning my losses…flexibility, lack of pain in the morning, sleeping through the night…it kinda stinks. But does it also indicate a life long enough to swing that pendulum around? I am going to focus on that right now.
Or at least try to.
While I fumble around trying to get my arthritis braces on my thumb while wearing a wrist brace. Sheesh.
Photo by Kanhaiya Sharma: https://www.pexels.com/photo/while-ladder-attached-to-the-orange-wall-13062567/